Just in between...(~.~)

Hello my dear beloved blog...it's been ages since the last time I count on you...yes,really a long time...about a couple of hours actually (not so long..but still long for me)...actually...I'm quite stress today...not just today...but almost everyday...I'm always crying...maybe no one saw my tears before...but...my heart was crying...everyday...every time...every second and every moment...for sure you’ll wondering about that...right....???  Don’t know how to start...don’t know how to begin the whole story...

My mood to study was running far away (very far away till I can't catch it)...I wasn’t study anything yet... meanwhile; my examination, I mean my last paper (pengajian Islam 2) was just around the corner...although almost every night I've burned the midnight oil... I wasn’t study my lessons yet...wow...I was really cool...right...??? It's not cool...but it's craziness !! am I crazy...?? ohh..how could I know that...

ermm..sometimes I felt something weird...yeaahh really..!! I felt that I was tired of everything in this Institute...Oh God...please help me with all this...actually, sometimes I’m quite regret with my decision for choosing this course...I don’t know why either...maybe I’ve made the biggest mistakes in my life...maybe I’m not suppose to be here...maybe...maybe I should further my study in Form 6...studying Economy...Maybe I’m not suppose to be a teacher...maybe I’m not the right person to take those all responsibilities...of being a good teacher...maybe...I’m not the right person...oh God...am I suppose to take all those blame on me..??? huhh...

Oh God... please...help me through all these matters...please...I’m not a strong person to face something that I couldn’t....especially...now...I feel very lonely...seriously...I have no one to help me here...I have nobody to help me...to support me from my back...I do miss my family so much now...and  without them,I’m really weak...weak in my feeling...weak in myself...Ya Allah...please...bless me in my life...sometimes I feel that I have no qualify to go through my life...I’m not a strong person...I just want to go home...I just want to meet my parents and hug them tenderly...I just want them to calm me down...I just need them right now...I just want to sleep in peace...and tomorrow,really hope that I'll wake up cheerfully and forget everything...yeahh..everything..!!

p/s : written by myself...don't want to study mood : on...!! (too homesick right now) I've read all my notes just now...but...just empty..!! my head empty...!!